Let’s think about pregnancy: imagine that you will be pregnant tomorrow! Imagine that you hold the positive test in your hand… What will your reaction be? Will you feel happy, released, joyful, fearing, frightened? In theory, a pregnancy is a wonderful thing, a fulfillment of the woman and of the family. However, practically, it is not always the right moment for this huge step.
Have you had a partner/husband for a long time and you started thinking that it is the time to think about a pregnancy? Do you feel an acute lack, the need of completing your family? Do you want to become parents? Before making this step, make sure that your feelings are real and that you are not influenced by the belief that “this is how it is supposed to be”, “this is normal” or that “the time for this has come”.
Are you sure that you and your partner are truly ready for having a baby? Because it will not be a sweet and cute baby who will sit wherever you put it or will only do what you want it to do! The pregnancy, birth and raising of a baby will change your life entirely and it will not only be for the better! It is not a pretty thought, but you must also be aware of the less positive parts.
Let’s think about pregnancy
Visualizing – let’s think about a pregnancy without issues. Try an imagination exercise several times. Picture yourself pregnant. Than picture yourself two months, three months, six months pregnant. Than imagine a scene with you, your partner and the baby. Focus and create a realistic scene with as many details as possible. Use a known, familiar place in order to make it easier to visualize the exterior details and be as realistic as possible. Try not to idealize! Let your mind work free; don’t step in your mental scenario even if you don’t like something.
How do your scenarios look like? How do you feel as character in them and how do you feel after visualizing them? Do this exercise for several days in order to make sure that you do it right. Remember to relax and set your mind free. You can do this process in the evening before going to bed, or in the morning when you wake up because these two moments of the day are more likely to allow you to relax and not control the scenario. It is a first test to find out if you consider yourself ready to have a baby or not.
Information – you talk about having a baby, you want to become parents, but you don’t have the information on everything that this change in your lives involves. Did you read, did you talk to a doctor, do you know the process through which your mind, body and spirit will go through? Do you think that you are ready for all of these changes? Before happily saying “I want to be a mother”, it wouldn’t hurt finding out everything it involves.
Lifestyle – do you have a lifestyle and a quality of life that allows you to become parents? Do you both have stable jobs, acceptable paychecks and a spacious house? Do you have a regular and organized lifestyle, or are you still young and crazy? It is very important because you cannot change your habits and lifestyle all of a sudden. Before conceiving a baby, you must have an organized and healthy life and make sure that you can provide the baby with adequate material conditions.
Exterior influence – as we previously mentioned, the desire of becoming parents may in fact be determined by exterior influences. All of your friends now have organized lives, families and all they do is talk about children? You may feel inadequate and your may start thinking that “it is time” to make this step. Your mothers keep asking you “when will I become a grandmother?” This may also influence you into rushing into making this important decision. Think about the change and decide to do it only if you feel ready! It is normal to be a bit scared, but it also depends on how scared you are… And if you see the future baby as a “necessary step”, a sacrifice – it is a sign that you are not ready yet!
Profession – does one of you have a stable job that allows you to live decently? Are you ready as future mother to stop your professional development for a while, to give up on it for a while in order to become a mother? Or does the professional development come first and you think that you can do them both? Well, you won’t be able to do them both: one of them will suffer – either your role as a mother or your profession. For a period of time, during the pregnancy and after the birth – you won’t be able to concentrate with the same efficiency and mental capacity as before on your daily tasks. So the question is: are you ready to postpone your professional development for a year or two?
Couple relationship – do you have a harmonious and stable relationship that gives you affection, comfort and safety? You will need your partner’s support more than ever, both while pregnant, as well as while you raise the baby. Are you sure about your relationship and are you sure that you will be a happy family? And what does he think, what does he want? Is he also ready (as ready as someone can be) to become a father? Does he want this and is he capable of getting involved in the baby’s life or does he only do it for you? Give him time to get used to the idea and let him think about the changes for a while. A pregnancy should be lived in two!
Why did we insist so much on the question “are you ready?” throughout this article? Let’s think about pregnancy – you initially think that it will be easy, wonderful and beautiful and it will be if you can have someone by your side in order to overcome the difficulties. Being ready and wanting to have a baby is essential. Because unfortunately, the number of women facing depressions during the pregnancy and after it has increased during the past years. These women were not ready; they threw themselves into the process without acknowledging the changes they will have to face. However, when you truly want a baby and when you have someone by your side who also wants the same thing, you should have no fears – it will be a long road, sometimes difficult, but it will be worth every second of it!