Even from the first weeks of the pregnancy, the future parents have a great question: “Will I be able to regain my strengths and come back to normal?” The answer won’t come from anybody you know, but you will be able to find it by yourself, a little bit later.
Regaining the strengths after pregnancy is happening through different methods from a woman to another, from a couple to another, and is depending on everyone’s way of understanding the term of “normality”. It depends, then, on each husband’s way of seeing things, on their perspective and on the way they’re accepting the changes inside their lives.
Giving birth to the first child is a very important step in the family life. Like the other steps from the life cycle, the “creating a family” step, together with the little children, will bring with it great changes in the couple’s life. We can say that the wife is suffering more changes than the husband does, because she’s the one that’s giving birth to the child, and in this way, she will suffer physical changes, not only emotional, and also behavioral.
Women regaining normality after giving birth
The woman suffers many changes both during pregnancy and after it. During pregnancy, the woman suffers corporal changes: she’s gaining weight, her belly grows, the breasts are growing bigger as well, the feet start to swell, etc., and these are the changes that are affecting her inner image. It’s normal for a woman to gain over 20 kg during pregnancy, as it all depends on the weight the woman had before getting pregnant; there are many women who are getting even heavier than that and in the end, they have problems with the “losing weight process”. In conclusion, a woman who won’t gain more than than 20 kg during pregnancy will find it easier to regain her body shapes, while a woman who gained more than 20 kg will find it harder, or maybe even impossible to regain the normal shape.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that pregnant women are growing from an emotional state to another: they laugh for a moment, and in the second after they start crying, they are indisposed, irascible and often angry and mad. Also, they are more sensitive and vulnerable, so they start crying for no reason. Emotionally, regaining the normal state will only happen after a month or so, after the birth. That’s the moment when the woman is getting used with the new environment, her new role and responsibility, and will start facing tiredness and see the bright side of things, while controlling her emotions. There are though several women who can’t face the responsibilities, the stress and the tiredness, and can develop a postnatal depression. Generally, this one appears at 10 weeks after the birth and can be treated with the help of a specialist.
After the giving birth process, the woman will change her behavior towards her partner. If until now where only the two of them, with enough time and focus to entertain and take care of each other, now the things changed a bit, because from two they become three, and the focus of their attention is the newborn child. Men are often asking if their couple life will ever become what it used to be, if they will be the center of attention.
If they will be patient enough, they will find the answer. Regarding the wife’s behavior, regaining the strengths after pregnancy will happen several months after, depending though on the help her husband is willing to give. If the husband will offer himself to take care of the child, to maintain the family equilibrium and to take part more in the child’s daily schedule, the woman will grow out of the after pregnancy estate. And vice versa: if the man will be less involved in the life of the newborn, the wife’s behavior will be negative, and there can appear conflicts between them.
Men regaining normality after the birth
This entire change in a couple’s life is not going to be hard only for the woman, but also for the man, the husband, the father of the child. The man must understand that after the birth of his first baby, he won’t remain the center of his wife’s attention, at least for a matter of time. He must accept this aspect and to assume the father role and the responsibility of becoming a parent. Also, he must understand that the baby’s needs are primordial and his needs became secondary.
Men are often feeling alone and abandoned, becoming frustrated and even jealous of their baby, because their wives won’t be focusing on them as they used to. In this case, it is better for the man to discuss with his wife, to express his fillings and wishes, and to try to reach a common opinion, in order for them both to be happy. If they can’t make it, they can ask for help from a marital consultant who will definitely help them resolve their problems.